weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
