Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
