If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
