I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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