my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
