brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
