Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We are two peas in an std pod
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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