Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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