I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
