Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
