just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
