is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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