You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
