ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
