fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
