White coat. Heels.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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