I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
