her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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