God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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