I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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