i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
