so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
