Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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