We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
