remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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