HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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