I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
