is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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