Already got asked if we're dating
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
