I am spending my child support on dildos
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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