I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you didnt know i had herpes?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
