i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
