I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When are your genitals available?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
