There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
