wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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