Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
