The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
