as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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