Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
