in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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