This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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