Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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