she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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