i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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