I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
