Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
