Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
