I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just pee around me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
