mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
