I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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