Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
