My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
